Everyone Has A Popsicle Dream

Still no word from Jas. Smoke and Big Tongue left me messages today. Freak Mama is ticked off at me about New Years. Here’s what I’m trying to explain to her. In case anyone didn’t know…I’m white. I have tits so big that they wobble when I walk. Imagine what that looks like if I’m trying to do the cha-cha. I barely dance drunk. I sure as hell don’t dance sober. Now I might make an effort if the guys Freak Mama and Joy were dancing with would’ve been closer to 30 than 60 and hot instead of gross. But they weren’t. I was tired. I was worried about Dorothy. I’m not all that fond of Joy anyway and this whole situation didn’t help. I didn’t mean to act funny. I just wasn’t in the mood. She hears nothing that I say. Whatever.

Sam sends me a text. Sam is not one for words and we’re more the “run into each other” type of friends rather than the “initiate contact” type.

Sam: whats the bizness?
Me: whats going on?
Sam: where you at?
Me: home.
Sam: what u doing?
Me: working. you?
Sam: chillin with my boy.
Me: anyone I know?

It is someone I know but no one I care to see. He asks what I’m about to do and I tell him I’m getting ready for bed. He calls to peer pressure me and let me know they want to come over and hang out. This makes no sense to me whatsoever and I’m too tired to deal so I reiterate that I’m going to bed. He asks where Dorothy is. I tell him she’s probably home in bed too. I pop two sleeping pills and call it a night. I miss a call from Smoke at 2 AM. I’m too busy dreaming that Jas comes walking into the bar one night, frantically searching for me and telling me how he was abducted and couldn’t get to me but he thought about me every day. He sweeps me into his arms and kisses me and everyone is watching but we don’t care. I wake up drooling all over my pillow and realizing I’m still alone and Jas is nowhere to be found. I’m actually started by this. It was so real. I could almost feel him there. It’s like the Popsicle dream I used to have when I was little during the really hot summer nights. In my dream I was lying in the yard of my childhood home, my sister, brother and my dog are next to me. The sun is scorching hot. Our swimming pool is empty. There is a canteen around the dogs next but no water in it. The river is running thick with mud. It feels like we’re going to spontaneously combust. My sister starts crying and I close my eyes to figure out a plan. And suddenly I’m cold. In fact, I’m freezing. I’m in my grandma’s kitchen, standing inside her deep freeze where I have discovered a box of cherry Popsicles. I take it out and put it in my mouth and it’s the most delicious and refreshing taste in the entire world. I hand one to my siblings. Our tongues and lips are soon red and we are laughing and I have saved the day. And I can taste this Popsicle like nothing in my life. Every drop of it tingles my taste buds. I wake up licking my lips only to find there was no Popsicle. And unfortunately, tonight, there was no Jas.