Because I'm Not Ready, That's Why!!

I shouldn't have to explain myself but I'm going to try. Q really wants to move here to be closer to me. I have no problem with him being closer to me. I really like spending time with him. I do, however, have a problem with him moving in with me. See, this is not closer to me...this is straight up my ass and I'm not ready for that. Here's where I get greedy, I guess.

I've been alone for awhile now. Well, not alone, but without a live-in love interest, and I've gotten used to it. I enjoy it. I like my arrangement with Q right now. I can do what I want, when and with whom I please during the week and not feel like I have to entertain or explain myself to anyone. I love living with Yommey and Mini and I don't want that to end. If he moves up here, I hope he understands that he's moving in with two women and a mini. Guys come and go, my little yommey family is forever.

I love when he comes for the weekend but I can also feel, by about Sunday morning, my brain start constricting and convulsing and begging for a little breathing room. I want to be able to pee with my bathroom door open. I want to be able to burp outloud if the feeling occurs. I want to just have my hair in a ponytail and no make-up on Sunday when I lay around the house. I want to be able to run errands or go to the gym and not have to worry about a schedule or if he's at home bored and waiting on me. Is that so wrong?

Plus, he's not from here and he won't have any friends here. That sucks. He will know who I know until he meets his own peeps. I don't see that happening very quickly because he's so shy. So it's not like I can tell him to go play ball with the guys so that I can do my girl thing. Not that he would mind just hanging out while I do what I do, but I want him to have his own life too because, to be completely honest, I'm not sure I'm ready to change many parts of mine to squeeze him in. I know that is terrible. I know it so stop yelling at me! I'm old and I'm stubborn and I'm set in my ways.

Of course part of me would love to have him here but I'm just not sure it would be fair of me yet, for him or myself. I think I need a little time to process the reprocussions of his relocation before I can make a educated decision on this.