There Must Be A Full Moon

SATURDAY
Q wakes me up with a rapid procession of texts that I have no desire to answer. Dear God, man! Get a grip!

Yommey and I spend most of the day running errands and being uber productive. She asks me if I've heard from MNS today. I say not yet. She looks at me with concern. I shrug my shoulders. Maybe I won't have to make a decision about MNS. Maybe yesterday was all it was ever going to be and it's done. No sooner do the words leave my mouth than my phone goes off. It's MNS. I have to laugh. It's like I'm wired or something and he just knows.

As Yommey and I are getting ready to go out and enjoy a night on the town I get a new text. It's BigBoi. What in the hell does he want? He asks what's up like we're great friends and chat on a regular basis. My replies are short and cold. Finally he says "you can holla at me later if you want". I reply "Oh really? Can I be so lucky? Thanks for permission. lol. Idiot." He writes back that he didn't mean it like that but would love to hear from me. I tell him phones work both ways and he didn't bother calling for two months so he shouldn't hold his breath that I will be "holla-ing" at him anytime soon. Q sends me random texts throughout the night that I delete as soon as they appear on my phone.

Yommey and I put down a couple drinks at the bar quickly. Fair joins us for some darts for a little while. As we stand outside smoking I see two guys walking up to the bar. No frickin' way. It is Biggy, a guy I had a hook-up with last summer. He seemed really sweet and vulnerable and was funny as hell until he got his piece and then went Dr. Evil on me. I hadn't seen or heard from him in probably 8 months and that was just how I liked it. I give him a death glare as he entires the bar. Ugh. Time to relocate this binge drinking extravaganza.

Yommey and I go back inside to finish our drinks. She goes to the restroom and while I'm sitting at the table Biggy's friend, who we'll call Shortstack, approaches. He plops down in the share next to me, as if he knows me, and says "my friend over there says that you hate him." I tell him I don't have time to hate anyone because it takes too much energy but his friend is a piece of shit asshole. He's a bit caught off guard by my bluntness. Shocker. Not. Most people are. Yommey comes back and Shortstack is all up in her business trying to hit on her. She makes it painfully apparent that she has a boyfriend and is not interested. He does not care. Biggy makes his way over to the table and sits down. I don't even look at him until he buys us a round of drinks and then all he gets is a quick thank you. We all end up playing shuffleboard and I say I will only play if I'm on Shortstack or Yommey's team. They all agree which I think is a small victory. Except that when you play shuffleboard you are on opposite ends of the board from your partner. I'm stuck on the end with Biggy. Ugh. It's cold and silent on our end of the game as I ignore him. He orders me another drink. He says I'm really sorry and I feel like an asshole but I was coming out of a messy divorce...I tell him it doesn't matter and it's over. He asks if I still think he's kinda an asshole. I tell him he's not kind of an asshole, he's an asshole to infinity and beyond. I start to call him Buzz "asshole" Lightyear. It doesn't phase him. He keeps buying me drinks which is fine. I can be as mean as I want and not have to pay for drinks or shots, this is a little piece of heaven for me. That is until Yommey goes to dance and Biggy sits down at the table next to me. I ignore him and talk to one of our neighbors. Biggy squeezes my knee under the table. I remove his hand with a violent jerk and tell him if he wants to become a lefty, try it again. He thinks I'm joking and does. I grab his finger and bend it back as far as I can without breaking it. I can tell he's in pain but the sick fucker inside him kind of enjoys it too. I stand up, just as the finger is about to snap in my grasp, and tell him, quite loudly, "you are a stupid piece of shit and if you EVER touch me again, I will kick you in the balls so hard they will come out your nose the size of sunflower seeds." I go find Yommey and convince her it is time to leave. I think Captain makes me crabby.

Yommey and I go to another bar and don't end up getting home until 4 AM. She passes out instantly but for some reason, I am not tired...at all. I try calling Bears. He doesn't answer. I haven't heard from him since Wednesday when he swore to call me as soon as he got off work so we could do dinner. This is way past irritating.

Q texts me and I don't text back. Instead, I think it's a good idea to call him back. I completely torture him. First, I'm mean. I don't even let him get a word in edge wise while I rip him up one side and down the other. He is a mess!! He is begging for my forgiveness like a small child. I think he even whimpered once or twice. Every idea for reconciliation he tries to offer I shoot down. This goes on for about an hour. He begs to see me again and get one more chance. Finally, I tell him that if he can get to my house within the next two hours I would possibly consider listening to him plead his case after he pleased me orally like he does so well. I can literally hear his heartbreaking over the phone. "If I could get there you know I would." I tell him I am sick of his excuses. He says it's not an excuse and he would do anything for another chance with me. I tell him this is a test to prove how he feels about me and that he better hurry because he just wasted two minutes of his 120. I hang up the phone and call Mob.

Mob gushes about how he wants to see me and how much he loves me and he hates life without me. I dare not give him the two hour challenge. He might just find a way to do it. I talk to him for awhile and then decide I need to go to bed.