Who's Pinching My Nipple?

I go to the store and pick up the pictures that I took from Halloween. Oh dear Lord. Why can I not remember these? Why is Vagina Jane holding a can of tuna? Why am I sitting on Smoke’s lap while he stares in awe at my exposed breasts? Who is that girl passed out on the porno couch? Is that chocolate syrup or blood? Whose hand is in the shot pinching my nipple? Why am I riding shotgun in an escalade with four guys I don’t recognize? How did my neighbors not call the police?

I head to the bar and hang out with Freak Mama and Crazy James. Get a call from Delivery Guy’s phone but it’s not him. It’s a chick who is screaming at me to leave her boyfriend alone. I tell her to check her man and hang up. Bitches are so crazy sometimes. Like I knew he had a girlfriend. Please.

The Lesbian that had once tried to attack Vagina Jane at a party picks a fight with Baby Girl. Apparently she thinks Baby Girl is trying to steal her woman. Baby Girl makes it known that she is a fan of the cock but the Lesbian is not listening. They almost come to blows. Which is funny to me only because I’m wasted. In the midst of separating them I “accidentally” shove the Lesbian into the jukebox. (That one’s for your Vagina Jane) I’m a lover, not a fighter. I need to go home.