My Old Loves

i got a message yesterday i wasn’t expecting.
heard you are coming back to town.
we make plans to meet up.
i wonder how it will be.
it’s been 1 1/2 years since we have seen each other.
i’m sure you’ve changed so much.
so have i.
mostly on the inside.
i think about the last time i held you in my arms
and how i cried when you drove away.
at the time, i thought i would see you again soon.
i still thought i would have you forever.
now, we’ve been reduced to occasion phone calls and picture updates.
sometimes i miss you so much it makes my heart hurt.
i wonder what will become of you.
will i know you all my life? will you forget about me as time passes by?
have the good times we shared slipped through the cracks of a memory that is older now?
then i wonder, how you will react to her?
your fathers new love?
will you like her more than me?
will she treatyou right?
does she have any idea how special you are?
how big your hearts are?
how sensitive you can be even when you try to act tough?
does she know how macaroni rolls?
will she sing ice ice baby and baby got back with you?
take you camping?
help you carve pumpkins?
will she hug and kiss you goodnight and pray before she closes her eyes for your safety and that you someday accomplish all of your dreams?
will she support you when you are down?
make you laugh if you have a bad day at school?
stand up for you no matter what?
or will you even know her at all?
I know i can no longer concern myself with those thoughts.
i am no longer a part of your life in that capacity
but i hope you will always know that i love you dearly.
that will never end.
i am no longer to be your step-mother
but i pray that i will always be your friend
and always hold a special place in your heart,
just as you guys do in mine.