2009 Closing In

Ok, so 2008 obviously wasn't my year in the love department. I can easily admit this. There was some good, some bad and some just plain bizarre shit but I would like to think it was a year of learning and growth through some of that pain. I had to fight for some happiness and I think that has strengthened me and my resolve. I would like to think I am enterting 2009 with a clearer vision of what I am searching for in the love department and what will make me happy. I would like to say that I am starting 2009 with a clean slate but I don't want to lie to you or myself. I might sleep with Vanilla again. One never can tell. I rule out nothing, I bank on nothing. I'm sure when Mr. No Show pops up I will still answer but I am trying to distance myself and my feelings for him as best as I can. Tonight at midnight I will blow a kiss to him, wherever he might be, and try again to let him go. Who knows, one of these nights I might even sleep without him creeping into my dreams.

I am trying to keep an open mind this year and not be such a picky bitch when it comes to possible suitors. I am going to try to work on my short guy issues. I resolve to go out with 2-3 men this year that are not over 6 foot..and not use it as a reason for sabotage. Baby steps. For example, I am planning to meet Bagley in the near future and he is the same height as me. I know, I know, look at me go! And, I'm not going to be as stringent on the must be close range thing. If the real love of my life really lives in Kalamazoo or Poedunk, Utah, I still want to find him. And I've said this before, sometimes distance with me is a good thing.

So here's a toast to a year gone by and hoping that the next one is glorious. See you in 2009!