Bleeding From The Head

I check my online dating mailbox. I have fifteen new messages. Sylvia is impressed. Two or three seem worthy of a response and the rest I erase. But first I forward the really funny or pathetic ones to my friend Vagina Jane. Only she will be able to truly appreciate this and join me in a cruel ritual of poking fun.

I see MOB at the bar. He’s sorry he didn’t make it last night. But he’s for sure coming tonight. He’s in a much better mood and I’m hopeful that maybe we’ll get back on track. He calls at 1:30 and says he got in a car accident and totaled his car. I freak out when he says that he’s bleeding from the head. I offer to go get him. He says the cops are on their way. I should go to sleep. He will call me in the morning. I do.