I Am Officially The Devil

DG and I text back in forth in the morning. He makes fun of me because the Packers lost the night before. I pray the Yankees lose to the Red Sox so I can make fun of him back. I like the New York Yankees just about as much as I like snockers and short guys with back hair.

I talk to him at lunch and then return to my desk. I glance at my buddy list. MOB is on. I think about IM’ing him. No! 86 hours and counting. Don’t want him to think I need him. If he wants to talk to me, he can contact me. But damn, I wish I knew what he was thinking!!! And then it comes to me. If I were a cartoon there would’ve been a huge ass light bulb blinking above my head. I shut down my IM and re-log on…as my sister. She has the same password for everything. She made it too easy to be fraudulent. Plus her computer wasn’t working and she lived 30 hours away. MOB hadn’t seen her in two months and I knew no matter what was happening with us, he would be happy to hear from her. He loved her like she was his little sister too. I take a deep breath and begin typing.

Measmysister: what up, MOB?

I sit and wait. He takes his sweet ass time writing back. Maybe he knows it’s me!

MOB: not much, how bout yourself
Measmysister: i'm good. missing *$&# a little.

She used to live with me but moved across the country to be closer to our family.

MOB: don't worry boo, your not missing nothing. what cha been doing?
Measmysister: working. hanging with the family. nothing too exciting.
Measmysister: how are you? how are things with my sis?
Measmysister: she said thursday rocked but the rest of the weekend sucked and wouldn't give me anymore details. bitch! lol.
MOB: I'm fine. me and your sister are not together any more. she dumped me but were still friends, thats why the rest of the weekend sucked

Dumped? Dumped is a word for high schoolers. We are on a break! Starting over. Clean slate, remember, buttmuncher?

Measmysister: did it suck for you too or just her?
MOB: me too, but i think it was best for us.
Measmysister: you two are funny. she says the same thing but i know she loves you to death, whether she's being a stubborn ass or not
Measmysister: and you may be the only person i know that's as stubborn as she is!

Sadly, this is true.

MOB: i just want her to be happy, and I'm not making her happy right now. but when were at the bar and she gets to drinking she forgets every thing we talked about, she gets mad at me cause i wont act like a boyfriend, and i keep telling her I'm not her boyfriend anymore which makes her more mad. but she wanted this.

Of course, I wanted this. I’m the evil person. Has nothing to do with the way you treated me.

Measmysister: that sucks. i'm sorry. do u think u guys will work it out?
MOB: to be honest, i don't know. its not like I'm looking for someone else, i do still love her, its just what's best for both of us right now. i told her maybe we shouldn't be in each others face so much, but you know she didn't want to hear that, she cried when i said hi to another girl, so maybe, maybe not

This was the other night at the bar. A-I didn’t cry and if I would have, it sure as shit wouldn’t have been because he said hi to a girl! I was upset because he was being an asshole. Don’t tell someone you’re on your way up to see them and then ignore them. But of course I can’t say shit because I’m my sister right now and can’t blow my cover!

Measmysister: r u serious? she cried when u said hi to another chick?
Measmysister: was it some girl or a girl you have thing with? cuz i've never known my sister to bug like that and i've seen her go through a lot of guys and a lot of shit
MOB:i know! that shocked me, she kept staring at me and even left for a little while with that punk ass guy who's always hitting on her.

This would be FB and we didn’t leave. We stepped outside to smoke and cool off which he would have known had he cared enough to follow me like FB did.

MOB: i hate to see her cry and i love her more than anything, but i can't run back, cause that would solve nothing
Measmysister: wow. in her defense my sisters going through a lot of shit right now, that she would never tell you about because she never wants to stress you. she always said she wanted to be the one bright spot in your day and not a downer. so be patient with her. it may not have even been about you saying hi to a girl. or that may have just topped off a bad day, ya know?
MOB:i know, thats why i love her so much

OBVIOUSLY! Whatever, ass.

Measmysister: and she loves you too. do you think you could find a way to work it out?
MOB: only time will tell.
Measmysister: i guess so.

*Insert unrelated bullshit small talk here*

MOB: ok i have to go right now, i'll speak to you later, bye & love you & miss you. Measmysister: love you too. bye!!

I am officially the devil. Pure evil. A manipulative, lying little hussy. And how do I know? Because I know what I just did was wrong and there’s not a single fiber of my body that feels bad about it.

Note to self: Focus on DG. Do I really like him or do I like the idea of him?

Pros: Great in bed. He’s hot. Funny. Young and trainable. Very ambitious/career driven.
Cons: Can be a flake. Talks a bit too much about himself. Very ambitious/career driven. Shallow bank account