Tell Me I Was Dreaming

Saturday is a blur. I drift in and out of consciousness until nearly noon. I can't close my eyes without picturing Jas. What have I done? He went to that club to see me and I'm so wrapped up in stupid ass MOB that I don't give him the time of day and he gets shot. I don't even know if he's alive. I don't know how to find out.

I call Rock. He’s not home. My once bad boy musician has somehow become a poster boy for the fucking PTA. He’s suddenly to busy driving car pool to soccer league than to be at my beck and call via telephone. For all I know he’s baking brownies and screwing the teacher’s aide while I’m here, where we used to be together. Funny, I wasn’t all that into Rock when I had him but suddenly I want to kick his ass all over Virginia for not being within 2000 miles when I need him.

Then again, why do I need my long distance boyfriend? I have plenty of people who will make me feel better. I call my ex Ronnie. He and I have been broken up for years but he is one of my nearest and dearest friends. One of the few people in the world that knows me, and all the evils that includes, and loves me anyway, unconditionally. Sometimes I fear he knows me better than I know myself. I only have to say hello and he knows something as wrong. But I didn’t call him to unload about my night. I just called to hear his voice and laugh. Ronnie always makes me laugh and he doesn’t fail me this time either. Ronnie is the best. Too bad we were so terrible for each other when we were together.

9 PM

Vagina Jane picks me up and we head out. Tonight we shall not stray into seedy neighborhoods or attend an after hours. We talk about not going out at all but we need to be with our friends. We need to do something other than sit around and think about the nightmare we went through the night before. She surprises me as we leave the house. “As much as I can’t stand you with MOB, there’s no one in the world I would have rather had with us last night.” I shake my head in silent agreement. Then we’re off.

The mood at the bar is a little different tonight. Everyone is a bit quieter, more subdued at first. We’re all just so happy to be together and safe. Soon we’re all our old selves, laughing and drinking and playing darts. FB and Preach show up and soon all is as it should be. FB and I being all touchy feely to the point where Preach wants to barf. I’m less kissy tonight and more huggy. Sometimes a girl just needs strong arms around her to feel secure.

The night ends with FB and I making out in the parking lot next to my car while Preach and Vagina Jane waiting impatiently for us to unlock our faces. Finally Preach began honking, signaling that playtime was over. I asked FB if he wanted to come over. He said yes, gave me a kiss on the cheek and said “so I better go home”. Annoying! This little fucker was such a tease! Vagina Jane and I settle for a cheap, greasy breakfast of bacon and eggs at the 24 hour diner down the street to repel our horniness.

Besides, I’ll see FB tomorrow night at my house, which is better anyway. I lost a bet and now I owe him dinner.