Let's Put The Ex In Sex

Prince calls. He needs to borrow a hat to finalize his Halloween costume. He comes down after work. We have dinner. We talk for a bit. We smoke cigarettes and stare at each other. I know what he wants to do. He’s been trying to sleep with me again since the day we broke up. It’s been seven months since we fooled around. I glance at his jeans and am thoroughly convince he wants to fool around. For a split second my mind slips back to the way we used to fuck. It was great. He was huge. I once made him show my friend Mary Poppins at a party because I couldn’t explain how big it was and knew she didn’t fully believe me. (Needless to say her jaw hit the floor when he whipped it out and it wasn’t even fully erect). Some may find it odd to make your friend look at your boyfriend’s manly member but we found it to be educational. Oh the sweet memories. Soon, we are in my bed making another one. And it’s just as good as I remembered it to be.

As we’re lying there afterward Freak Mama begins blowing up my phone. I was supposed to meet her at the bar and bring her a shirt. I’m late. Prince offers to drive me there. I warn him it’s not really the type of place that his preppy ass is going to enjoy. He tells me that he’s changed, let loose a little and that he’ll be fine. He’s a terrible liar.

We go to the bar for one drink and take Freak Mama her shirt. Prince is obviously uncomfortable so we take off. As we’re walking out the door who should appear but MOB. He gives me a quick hug and gives Prince a once over. Prince and I leave. As I’m dropping him off at his car my cell phone starts ringing. It’s MOB. He wants to know why I left and who that guy I was with was. He asks me to come back up to the bar. I had a little gift for him so I did. I gave him his gift and he totally freaked out. He loved it! Nearly knocked me over hugging me so hard. We played darts and drank until the bar closed. We then went out for breakfast. It was great until crazy baby mama started calling repeatedly.

I got home and my roommate NYC was so stoned! She was sitting on the floor eating 6 pieces of toast. I was drunk, she was high, so we giggled and ate cheese and bitched about men. She warned me to stay away from MOB. Nobody likes him.