Moving Faster Than The Speed Of Light

Took Von home in the morning. As has become our tradition, he called me on the way to work to wish me a good day and on the way home to see how my day went. We make plans to meet up at the bar.

Vagina Jane and I get to the bar and are doing blow job shots faster than you can say ejaculate. Von comes and we play darts. Some gross old guy keeps eyeing us and saying pervy things. After the guy gets mouthy with me, Von defends our honor and they almost come to blows. Gross Guy gets kicked out of the bar and we return to our dart game.

After the bar the three of us go to my house and hang out drinking and talking. A lot of people are intimidated by the closeness I share with my friends, especially Vagina Jane and my sister. It’s not a fence that is easily crossed and most get buried in inside jokes and can’t find their way out. But Von fits. He’s so adorable we can’t help but invite him in. But out of nowhere Vagina Jane takes the invitation to an unexpected place. “So are you her boyfriend or what?”, she blurts out. A feel my face go red. Nothing like putting the poor guy on the spot. But as usual, he doesn’t bat an eye or get uncomfortable. He takes my hand in his and says “I want to be.” I’m shocked. “Well good, I’m glad that’s settled”, Vagina Jane laughs. That was so high school. Like passing a note back and forth but I’m sure glad she did it. That bitch knows me well.

3 A.M.
Vagina Jane leaves and Von and I go upstairs. The whole time we’re having sex I keep thinking “Oh my god. This is my boyfriend”. How can things possibly be going this fast? Shouldn’t there be an emergency brake or something? What did I just agree to? The end of all booty calls? My unhealthy obsession with MOB? The every day dialing of Jas, hoping for his return from Yemen? Flirting with whomever, whenever at the bar? And for what?! Oh, that’s right. Affection, honesty, companionship, great sex, stability and a general feeling of happiness that I haven’t had in a long ass time. I think I can live with this for a while.