Conversations That Shouldn't Go Down Over Email But Do

FRIDAY
MNS tells me he is going to try to get off work early so he can come see me and we can talk before I leave town. He doesn't. Tre and Marine are both emailing and texting me that they would like to meet soon. I will delay this as long as I need to. Both are fine to talk to but my heart is with MNS. Friday night I get hammered with Sissy and Yommey and the next morning as I'm scrolling through my drunk outgoing texts/calls and emails I see one to MNS. It says "baby, it's too bad you don't love me like I loved you. Have a good one. I'm out." What the hell is wrong with me? Did I really send him an email telling him I love him? That's just great. I'm sure he won't run, screaming down the street away from me now. Nothing like scaring a man off, right? And via email? When I'm sloshed? Very classy. Ugh.

SATURDAY
I send MNS an email and tell him to disregard any drunk emails from the night before. As if he could just forget that he read the words I wrote and that it contained the "L" word. Within an hour I get a response to my long email to him. It pops up on my phone and I look at Yommey. "I can't deal with this right now." I'm in an emotional state today already and I don't want to read that it's over between us and I scared the crap out of him. She tells me I can do it so I open it up.

Oh so your a drunk e-mailer? lol. I got crazy busy yesterday sorry about that. I did want to see you. As for your long e-mail that you sent me I want to explain a few things. Yes, I am going to leave her and I have not changed my mind. Actually things are getting crazier and I really have to get out to keep my sanity. I need to get a place to live, of course, and then I need to get a vehicle. We have two. One is a piece of crap and the other is ok so I need to get a vehicle so that when I leave I will have my own transportation. And yes I would like to see where we can go but I need to get out of my current situation. I can't keep dragging you in to this mess. If you can't wait or don't want to wait I completely understand. I realize it is a messed up situation but I hope that you do.
I just need to get out and get my own place and a vehicle and then things will be great and we can really be together. I can't give you a definite time frame. I have been discussing it with my mom and it will be sometime in the near future. I hope I have answered some of your questions. I will talk to you soon.

Ok, that could've went much worse. I respond to him and tell him that I hope it is soon and that I will try to wait, it's not easy but I think we are worth it. Then I do something crazy, even by my standards. I tell him that if he needs to get out he can always crash with us until he can find a place. I realize the situation would not be ideal but if it gets him out of there and into my arms, well, I don't care. He replies with "thank you. that means a lot!!! more than you will ever know." We will see how that turns out. I highly doubt that he will be moving in any time soon but I just wanted him to know the option was there if it had to come down to that. I know what you're thinking. And no, I haven't lost my freakin' mind. It wouldn't be like we were moving in together. It would be him crashing with me and Yommey until he can get his own place. That's it. Plus, the guys never home between work and softball and bowling and basketball. It's not like we'd notice him around much. But I would get to wake up next to him and see him every day and that would be a fucking dream come true. It would let me know right away if this has a future or not. If he snores and chews with his mouth open, doesn't take out the trash and refuses to put the toilet seat down...those are good things to know. Also, it wouldn't be a permenant situation. It's a few weeks tops and then he can get his own place and Yommey and I can move into our house and MNS can visit whenever he wants. That was a lot of ands...