It's Raining, It's Pouring...In More Ways Than One

MONDAY
I wake up to the sound of rain pittering against my window. It's dark and dreary and I desperately want to stay in bed. I think of how nice it would be to spend the day cuddling with MNS. Then I remember that MNS sucks the goat and I remind myself that he's too busy blowing me off. I get up and shower and drive to work in the rain.

Pella, Muscles and Shorty all send me IM's in the morning. I chit chat a bit and then tell them I need to get back to work. Shorty wants to get together soon. I tell him my week is already booked and my family is coming this weekend. Perhaps next week? Mason texts me to see how my Easter was. Hazel Eyes sends me a text that catches me a little off guard. It says "I really miss you. I wish I was there. I like you so much. I think about you all the time. U r so sweet and cool." I haven't seen Hazel Eyes since about last year at this time. We've talked off and on since then but, really? Odd. The dudes hot, I'll give him that. Let him pine for me. If he makes a trip here to see me I wouldn't slam the door in his face. Let's just put it that way.

MNS emails me to ask how my Easter was, how my day is going and to tell me he is getting a new phone tomorrow so we can chat. I write back and say my weekend was crazy and Easter was good. He asks if that's it. Is anything new with me? I say nothing's new and tell him to have a good day. Apparently he was wanting more of my usual sappy, stupid and hanging on his every word reaction. I just didn't have it in me this morning. He responds with "Don't be upset with me, babe." I tell him I'm not upset and leave it at that. He replies "Just for the record, I love talking with you and doing other things with you. I like the texting and talking we do. Every thought of you brightens my day. I just want you to know that. Anyway, not much going on here, bored at work." I don't respond. He writes me again and says that he knows I'm mad and I need to just talk to him. This is funny to me since I'm always the one preaching communication. I tell him that I'm angry. I tell him he made me three promises last week and he broke every one of them. He didn't put the minutes on his phone, he didn't come see me on Sunday and he said I would never go 10 days without him again. That's why I'm angry. He responds that if his calculations are correct that today is day 10 and he still has 13 hours to make it right. Technically, this is day 10. He asks me to meet him over lunch. I mull this over for about, oh, three full minutes before I agree.

MNS walks in and I melt like a Cadburry egg on a 145 degree sidewalk. He says he wants to show me just how much he missed me...and he does. Of course it's amazing, as usual but it doesn't solve anything. We shoot the shit and cuddle for awhile. I don't want to leave his arms. My throat is dry and I have a minor coughing fit. He asks if I'm ok. I say I'm dying. He tells me that I can't. "Can't what? Die? Why?" I ask and laugh. "Because then what would I do?" He kisses me. "I don't know, get another mistress?" He pulls me in for a tight squeeze against his naked body. "I don't want anyone but you. You're all I want." I'm now the mushy goo on the bottom of a shoe that was once a Cadburry Egg on the sidewalk. We kiss and cuddle and laugh and complain about having to leave each other and go back to work. I hold on to him as long as I can, not knowing when I will see him again. He knows why I do it and tells me that he can't wait to see me again. I joke that May is just around the corner. He teases me that May is more than 10 days away. I remind him that the deal is 10 days or less and if he's a smart man that wants to keep me happy as he claims he does, it will not be on day 10 again.

I return to work and Rebound calls. He's mushy and sensitive in an oddly macho way. He asks if he can see me tonight. I tell him I'm busy and he says that's cool but he hopes he can see me again soon. I can't explain to him why I can't see him tonight. I cannot tell him that I had a nooner with my married fake boyfriend over lunch and two guys in one day is even too much for a promiscious girl like myself. He's already made it very clear to me that if we continue to hit it off that he doesn't share well with others and would want me to himself. It sounds like a very familiar personal code that I used to preach myself. Those days seem like forever ago. Rebound calls again around 8 pm just to see how my night is going and tell me he's thinking about me. He hopes he can see me tomorrow or Wednesday. I tell him we will play it by ear but I'm sure it will be soon. He continues to prod me with questions about myself and I answer a few but quickly change the subject. Again, I'm just not sure I want to let him in yet at all.

I do want to get to know Rebound better. Can I do that without letting him get to know me? It's not so much because I think we have a future of any sort but because I'm selfish and I think he may be a brilliant distraction between the 10 days I have a feeling I will go without MNS every so often. And because I want to go out on dates in public, and have someone that can stay for more than an hour at a time, and thinks I'm the cat's fucking meow. Not to mention he eats it like a bulimic at a barmitzvah. I can't really find it in my heart or my loins to cut him off yet. Yeah, I know. You don't have to say it. I'm an evil little monkey and I should be put in a cage in a lab in the Himalayas so that I can't tamper with any one else. I know this, but today, it doesn't stop me.