With This Email, I Thee Quit...

FRIDAY
I don't hear jackshit for a response from MNS until Friday morning. Friday morning? Monday I question what is going on with us and he waits until Friday to get back to me? I'm obviously very important to him. Could he be any more of a jerk? Here is the email he sent me. Does he think that this will appease me? This should tide me over until he can give me his all? If he's thinking that's all I need, he could not be any more wrong.

MNS: Babe, I do like seeing you. I wish we could spend more time together but right now that's not the case. Work is crazy busy and today I have to go and pick up my son. I am not ignoring you or trying to be mean or anything like that I have just been crazy busy. I do miss you and I do want to spend time with you and in time that will be possible. Hope your having a good week. Talk to you soon.

Friday night I decide it is time to fill the pockets again. In all reality, I hope I don't need to use any of the men in the pockets but I just can't risk it at this point. MNS is not dependable and cannot make time for me. I will have to find someone that can, no matter how much it sucks. I am not going to be sitting around waiting for him any longer. If and when he finally gets his divorce and thinks he can squeeze me into his super busy schedule, we will see what point I am at. Maybe we can give it a try. Maybe I'll finally be done with his bullshit. Only time will tell. I love him to death but I don't share well and I need more than he can give me. Right now, I have to be true to myself.

SATURDAY
Sometimes I amaze myself how quickly I can fill my pockets back up. There's Dom, Shorty, Muscles and a few other randoms that are more than willing to step in for any attention I may be lacking. I don't feel like acting on any of them yet but I will keep them chilling in the pockets for future bouts of loneliness.

SATURDAY NIGHT
We head out for Yommey's birthday and have a great time. I get my eye on a couple fellas at the first bar but nothing to get all revved up about. Dom wants to see me when I'm done celebrating. I don't tell him yes or no. We will see how I feel.

At the second bar I notice him, Rebound, right away. He's just my flavor; tall, caramel skin, tight dresser and has a bit of a swagger about him that I don't see around here very often. When he comes up to talk to me outside I realize he has the swagger of the west coast I so love and miss because he lived out there too. We hit it off and begin reminiscing about what we miss now that we're here. Two hours later we're still chatting and he is trying to woo me with some smooth lines and introducing me to his cousin. I give him my number but he wants more than that. Tonight I decide I will give it to him. I need a distraction and a rebound from MNS and Rebound is hot and totally into me. Can't really fight with that.

He follows us back to our house and on the way I have a minor panic attack thinking about MNS and what I'm about to do. Yommey yells at me that I'm being a dipshit and that MNS can fuck off. He's at home with his wife and I have a hottie that is trying to get at me. She bluntly reminds me that MNS hasn't been trying to get at me for a minute. I know she's right and I decide to try to enjoy this to the best of my ability and forget about MNS.

Rebound and I talk and mess around until 7 in the morning. He falls asleep as the birds chirp and the sun rises outside my window. He holds me from behind and I stare at the wall and think about my night and what has went down. It's not the same being in bed with a stranger as it is with MNS but it is simplier. He isn't running out of bed to work or home or bowling. He's here, next to me, snoring away and doesn't want to go anywhere. The sex was pretty good and he knocked Q out of the best oral sex ever category, which is quite impressive. When he wakes up we go for another round which is fun. He asks if he can see me again and I tell him he can. He asks me a lot of questions about my life and what I like and although I appreciate the effort, right now I really don't want to share too much. Let's just do what we do for now and we'll see where it goes, if anywhere. He keeps asking me if I have a boyfriend and I tell him no. I wish I did but MNS is not mine and I was fooling myself to think that he was. At least I don't have to lie to Rebound about being taken. I am a free woman and up for the taking at this point. We will see if he can hang or not.