Can I Get A Snip-Snip?

Talked to Gloves. He’s getting ready to hit the road again. He’s sorry he couldn’t see me last night. Usher calls and tells me to come over for a pamper day. Says he’ll wine and dine me and give me a full body massage. But I already have plans.

King Andrew takes me out for dinner and drinks on the pier. We listen to a reggae band. We head back to my bar to play some darts. He carries his own set. I’m so screwed! Freak Mama, Sassy and Joy are there. He not only buys all of my drinks but also all of theirs and pays for numerous dart games. After he kills all of us in darts he and I sit and talk, continuing to drink, while he tells me how he badly he wants to take me back to his island in the Caribbean. He plans on moving back to retire in a few years and thinks it would be a wonderful place to take me. I have to admit when he told me about it, it did sound tempting. I pictured myself sprawled out on a sandy white beach, blue ocean waves crashing on the shore, drinking daiquiris in a coconut bra and working on my novel. Occasionally I would run into the water and frolic and swim with my school of pet dolphins…okay, way too much rum…

It’s getting late and I can tell we’re both horny. I started this date thinking there was no way I would sleep with this guy. Now here I was wondering when the hell we were going to quite talking and get to the sex. He practically reads my mind and offers to get us a hotel room. Usually it’s my house or his but hey, if he wants to spring for a room, I’m down. It sounds fun.

We go to the hotel and to our room. I’m not nervous by any means but something about it feels, I don’t know, dirty. Like we were doing something secretive. People get hotel rooms in the movies. Right?

Anyway, we sit on the bed and start messing around. One thing leads to another which leads to another and soon we’re getting undressed. And then I see it. I’m kissing his chest, I sneak a peak at the treasure and I jump back. What the hell is wrong with it? Oh my god. He’s not circumcised. I once had a friend who dated a Jewish guy that wasn’t snipped and she told me it was no big deal. Still, I’m a little freaked out by it. Childish I know but have you seen one of them? It’s weird! I put it out of my mind and get on with it. It’s fine. I’ll give the guy points for stamina.

Truth be told everyone lies during pillow talk. I’ve said my fair share of things I didn’t mean when I’m getting tussled. One gets caught up in the moment and it’s diarrhea of the mouth. We’re be-bopping away and he’s saying how he wants to take care of me and how beautiful I am and then he says…”I think I’m falling in love with you.” I pretend I don’t hear him. “Ooh, baby. Yes. Right there.” And he kisses me, looks me straight in the eye and says “I love you.” I try to ignore him again. “Do you love me too?” Shit. Are you kidding me? No, I don’t love you, moron. Maybe this is this guys thing? Like a foot fetish? He needs to hear a woman say it to get off? I think I read about this once. I’m trying to think fast on how to handle this. He stops and looks down at me. “Don’t you love me, baby?” I smile and kiss him. “Of course I do.” In an instant he is pumping away again, better than ever. I guess that was just his thing. And he knows I’m not serious so no harm, no foul.