I'm Not Going Out Tonight, Really

I try calling Jas in the afternoon but it again goes straight to voicemail. I wait for him to call. I clean the house. I bake cookies. I whip together a casserole and do some laundry. What could possibly be going on with him? My heart sinks. What if he’s sick? He said he was worried about his cold and chest pains because if he got pneumonia he would probably die (his lung had not yet fully recovered from the bullet wound). My head starts spinning. No way is this guy blowing me off. Not after Thursday night and the things he’s been saying all week. Something is wrong. I feel it in my gut. But I have no way to get a hold of him besides his cell. I can’t sit around here all night and think about it. He’ll call me if he gets a chance.

I go to the bar with Freak Mama, Joy, Preach, Baby Girl, CC and Smoke. Smoke is again inquiring why we can’t hook up. I am again blowing him off and refrain from telling him his cousin Glove banged me like a screen door in Hurricane Andrew. But I tease him by doing blow job shots with Baby Girl and Freak Mama. At one point I have some stray whipped cream in my hair from the shot. I look at Smoke and smile. I can see his mouth watering.

After hours at my house with Freak Mama, Joy, Usher, Baby Girl, Big Daddy, Tiny Pop, Coral and Fort Dodge. I’m distracted by the fact that I have not heard from Jas. I sit and watch everyone having a good time and get very sleepy. My mind is not in this.