Check Me For A Fever

THURSDAY
I spend most of the day talking via text, email and on the phone with Bear. He texts me at 8 am and says he made it back. Calls me at time and says he is packing up his stuff and saying his goodbyes. I absolutely cannot wait for him to get here. I am so excited. I hope I don't jinx it but I really do have a good feeling about this. He calls me at lunch and tells me he's planning on leaving tonight and it should take him 3-4 days to get back. I tell him to be safe and keep me posted. He promises he will and does not disappoint.

Texts from Kong and MNS. For the first time in a really long time MNS's texts just annoy me. The game is growing lame for me. I muster up whatever flirtatiousness I can. I want to keep my fake boyfriend in my pocket. I'm sure that sounds odd. I'm not pumping his ego and hanging on his every word like usual. But I'm not ready to ignore him or tell him to go fly a kite either. Yes, I have high hopes for Bear but I'm also trying to be realistic (as hard as that is right now) so I don't totally want to write off Kong, MNS, etc. I return their texts in a friendly manner and then just stop writing when the conversation turns dry.

THURSDAY NIGHT
Q starts texting me when I lay down to sleep. It turns into an hour long text war of me telling him to kiss my ass because it's over and him telling me it doesn't have to be. I can trust him and he wasn't fucking around on me and he misses me so much, he's worried about me, he made a mistake and he's so sorry and he just wants to make me smile again. Blah blah blah. I don't know what else to tell him. I said that I don't trust him and never will again, I do believe he was messing around, we can't get anything back and it's over. He asks if I want him to leave me alone. I have told him this three times already this week. I tell him I'm fine, not to worry about me. I tell him to stay there and take care of the crazy bitch that makes his life hell that he can't seem to leave alone and that I'm moving on.

FRIDAY
My morning starts with a phone call from Bear. He is already on the road and so excited to get here and see me. I am giddy with anticipation. The next few days cannot go fast enough. MNS texts me good morning and we chat briefly. Again, it's just not the same. Q texts me that he misses me and he's sorry. I delete it.

I talk to Bear on all my breaks. He calls me a couple times throughout the day just to hear my voice. So far all I can find wrong with him is that he doesn't eat meat very often. I'm a cornfed girl and I'm not sure what the hell I would cook for us if things ever came to that point. Everything I have has meat of some sort in it. Oh well, that's something we can work on once he gets here. I wish I would've flown up and rode back with him. What a wicked trip to make by yourself. Poor guy. All I can do is keep him company when he calls and texts and tell him how much I can't wait for his arrival.

FRIDAY AFTERNOON
MNS texts me after work and asks if he can come over when he's done playing cards and drinking with his work buddies. This is hilarious to me. I say "oh sure. see you later. lol." He asks what is so funny. I tell him there is no way he's coming over. If he really wanted to see me he would skip cards or come before. I know he won't make it after poker and drinks. He says he's offended I have such little faith in him. I tell him it's called history and a proven track record. Somedays I want to tell him what his code name is. He throws a tiny fit and says he will prove me wrong tonight. Yeah, I wait with bated breath. Ha!

FRIDAY NIGHT
Bear calls and is making good progress. We talk until the wee hours of the morning even though his phone is on international roaming right now. I tell him we should make it short so his bill is not outrageous. He doesn't care. I get off the phone with him around 4 am and fall asleep. Shocker, no word from Mr. No Show.

SATURDAY
I wake up way too early with a text alert on my phone. I'm hoping it is Bear but it's Q asking if I miss him yet. Dude, I miss fucking you. I can't lie. The sex was outrageous and mind-blowing and really, really great. And yes, it's been three weeks and I'm so horny I could rape someone but you are not going to be it. I am done with you. I have no other words to use to tell him this so I don't respond. Hopefully, he will take the hint soon.

Random calls and texts with Bear throughout the day. He says he will call me as soon as he gets to the states. I don't hear from him until almost 2 in the morning. I'm worried out of my mind at this point. I answer frantically. "Baby, are you ok?" I can instantly tell by his voice that he is not. The good news is he is back in the country. The bad news is that the transmission went out in his truck and he is stuck in a poe-dunk as town in the middle of nowhere and this is going to be expensive to fix. Craphole! He is so upset and there is nothing I can do to calm him down or make it better. This totally sucks.

SUNDAY
Bear calls and says it's going to cost $3100 to fix his truck. He is a mess. I feel so bad for him. He feels like he's about to be in a scene out of "Deliverance" in that crap little town and it may be the mechanic that is butt-raping him. He says he should've just stayed where he was. I tell him not to talk like that and things will be ok once he gets here. It's hard trying to cheer him up because it's really a crappy situation and hard to stay optimistic if you are him. I just keep trying to tell him it will be okay and he's only 17 hours away from his new job and me a great new life. Man, if he gets here and doesn't like me or his job or this town, I am going to be responsible for one major breakdown. Ugh. I can't handle the thought of that.

MNS texts me and I don't answer. Write it down. I'm pretty sure it's the first time ever. Perhaps someone should check me for a fever. Of course, it's MNS, I doubt he even noticed. Q texts me three times while I'm babysitting my cutie-patooties and I don't answer him back either. This is a new trend and one that will continue until he gets the fucking hint and stops trying to talk to me.